One Year

Posted on: September 29, 2008

The anniversary of my diagnosis with diabetes is fast approaching, and I don’t like it.  In fact, it kind of scares me.  I know it doesn’t really mean anything, but it signifies something to me.  It signifies permanence, that this isn’t going away.  All these things that I already know, but that this date forces me to acknowledge once again.  It’s a different kind of reality check.  It brings fresh memories of my life before and without diabetes, and dredges up a whole host of associated emotions, and I’m really having trouble dealing with that right now. I don’t want to have lived with diabetes for a year. I don’t want to have this degree of familiarity and comfort with it.  I don’t want to be used to it.  And I don’t want to deal with it, but I have to.  And right now, it seems like the hardest thing in the world.  So much in my life has changed after and as a result of my diagnosis, and in so many respects, I just want it to go back to the way it was before.  I don’t know what else to say.


3 Responses to "One Year"

: ( I too have been aware, thinking about the anniversary of your diagnosis coming up. I so wish I could change things or make it better but I can only wish for that power, and that is so unrealistic. So, I pray daily for you and will continue to do because that is one thing I can do. I know that probably doesn’t seem like much while you are aching. On a different note, I am proud of how you have dealt with this diagnosis this past year as it is has not been easy, nor pleasant. and it is very hard and will continue to be. Love you always & forever.

{{{{HUGS}}}} I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I wish I had an answer. But honestly, there isn’t one. It sucks sometimes. It’s so frustrating sometimes. But not ALWAYS. The rough patches will come and go. I know that doesn’t help when you are in one, but hopefully you’ll be on the other side soon. Damn diabetes. It’s hard on your first anniversary, it’s hard on your 20th anniversary . . . . . it will probably be hard on the 30th too. But remember you have friends out here who know exactly how you are feeling and are sending their support over the internet. Stay strong!

thanks so much Karen! I really appreciate it, and coincidentally, I have moved out of the little funk I was in… 🙂
all the same, it’s nice to know that there are others out there experiencing/going through the same things… I can’t tell you how much the diabetes OC helped me the first few months after my diagnosis – just reading about other peoples’ lives with diabetes was amazing, eye-opening, and comforting all at the same time.

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September 2008
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