TypeofL1fe

Archive for September 2008

The anniversary of my diagnosis with diabetes is fast approaching, and I don’t like it.  In fact, it kind of scares me.  I know it doesn’t really mean anything, but it signifies something to me.  It signifies permanence, that this isn’t going away.  All these things that I already know, but that this date forces me to acknowledge once again.  It’s a different kind of reality check.  It brings fresh memories of my life before and without diabetes, and dredges up a whole host of associated emotions, and I’m really having trouble dealing with that right now. I don’t want to have lived with diabetes for a year. I don’t want to have this degree of familiarity and comfort with it.  I don’t want to be used to it.  And I don’t want to deal with it, but I have to.  And right now, it seems like the hardest thing in the world.  So much in my life has changed after and as a result of my diagnosis, and in so many respects, I just want it to go back to the way it was before.  I don’t know what else to say.

Weird.

I feel like every time I read science news like this, it seems like reality is getting closer and closer to that science-fiction world that it used to be difficult to imagine.