six months?

Posted on: March 5, 2008

One evening about a week and a half ago, I had a low blood sugar reaction while I was studying. It wasn’t too uncomfortable; I felt it coming on, and treated it pretty quickly, so it wasn’t a big deal, but it lead to a conversation with my roommate. She asked how I knew I was getting low, or what it felt like, and I did my best to describe it to her. There’s the outward physical symptoms: sweating, shaking, and a jittery feeling. Sometimes there’s hunger, and I can get really pale if I don’t treat it soon enough. But when I do get low, I’ve noticed sometimes that there’s just a sudden, almost innate, gut feeling that I’m getting low. It’s hard to describe such an internal feeling, and maybe I am just nuts and I’m imagining it, but its hard to dismiss such an unmistakable feeling when I get it almost every time I’m low. I’m kind of wondering if anyone else gets this… I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Anyways, after I had finished describing these feelings to my roommate, she remarked that she felt that I had caught on to all this diabetes janx pretty quickly, and I have it all down pat. I had to laugh at that, because I was diagnosed just about six months ago now, and I read blogs of numerous others in the diabetes OC (online community – I just recently figured out what that stood for!) who have been managing their diabetes for years, even decades, and even they don’t have everything down to a science! Because there are so many unknown variables, and so many factors that constantly change, I think its (almost) impossible to ever have everything managed so perfectly. I remember reading a quote regarding this in someone’s blog. I can’t remember it exactly, but I really liked it, and it went something like this:

Diabetes is trying to manually simulate what normally occurs at a cellular level within the body.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t do it any kind of justice, and is not nearly as poetic or eloquent as the original. I’m hoping that I will be able to find it eventually, but don’t count on it anytime soon. :-/

It was definitely quite encouraging to hear that it seems like I am on top of managing this disease, but in reality, it is so far from the truth. Its more like I understand the general mechanics of how things are supposed to work; I’ve pretty much got the basics down – I’ve gotten pretty good at being able to estimate how many carbs are in certain foods, and by how many points one unit of insulin will lower my blood glucose, and how exercise affects my BG – by how long it will take to start lowering it and by how much. Unfortunately, even if you try to keep everything constant, it can throw you for a loop sometimes, and you’ll get a high or a low reading out of seemingly nowhere. It can definitely be a daily struggle – physically, mentally, emotionally. I’m finding it hard to believe that I was diagnosed six months ago. It seems like such a long time ago, and so much has happened since then, yet at the same time, I can remember that weekend and the one before it like it was yesterday. I feel like this entire (scholastic) year has sped by, a big, fast blur with certain events sticking out in my mind. Sometimes it all blends together, and its hard to remember the chronology of things.


1 Response to "six months?"

Justine –
Hang in there, YOUR DOING GREAT.
Managing diabetes is never an exact science – it changes from day to day, and that’s how u have to deal with it.

I’ve had it for 30 years and I still remember trying on costumes for Halloween 2 weeks
b4 my diagnoses. I wanted to be Princess Lea, but those costumes were all gone,Instead, I tried on several including, clown, Indian, Peter Pan – I went with the Peter Pan. It was handmade green velvet with gold thread and I felt like I could do anything when I wore it.

Years pass by so quickly – just make sure u enjoy everything, don’t focus on the chronology
Kelly K

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