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Posted on: March 28, 2008

I had my regular endocrinologist appointment yesterday. Overall, it was a good one. I really like my current endocrinologist – he’s friendly and concerned, he certainly knows what he’s talking about, and he does a good job of answering my questions and providing useful information. Right now, I’m ISO a new doctor for when I am at home during the summer months, but I need to get the ball rolling a little more quickly on that one… there’s a few options, but I’m unsure what I should/want to do about it. One specializes in women with risk factors for heart-disease, particularly diabetes, and another is a bona-fide “endo”*, with an allegedly poor bedside manner. Or whatever other options we can find in northern VA.

*When I first started reading diabetes blogs, it took me the longest time to correlate the abbreviation “endo” with “endocrinologist” and not “endodontist” because I had to get two root canals when I was 12 as the result of a bike accident.

But, that’s besides the point – I wanted to post because after much thought and internal debate and consideration, I’m getting on the pump! Yes, big changes to come. While I am definitely excited about this, I’m also kind of nervous. And although I’ve heard a lot of others’ accounts of life on the pump and gained a basic understanding of how it works, I really don’t know what to expect. But I’m going to take it as it comes and try not to freak out about it. A big part of this for me is accepting the permanence of my condition, and accepting it for what it is, and to a certain extent, myself for who I am. If that makes sense.

My doctor seems to think I have my numbers under control, but I feel like it’s a different story when you’re just getting a snapshot of the numbers and not living them 24/7, and I hope that having the pump can help me keep them in a tighter range. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. And even though I am getting the pump now, it may be a while before I actually go on it – I’m going to Paris this summer (late June), and because it takes a while to learn all the ins and outs of using the pump, it might be easier to wait until after I return.

Now that I’m thinking about it, that might be kind of hectic, because it will coincide with a whole lot of other adjustments – moving into an apartment (!) with new roommates to boot, and the beginning of a new semester. Nothing I can’t handle of course 😉 But maybe it would be better to wait until a few weeks into the semester… I guess there’s really no perfect time to start, anyway. Life goes on.

First of all, apologies for not updating sooner. I guess I’ve been feeling somewhat uninspired (or just lazy) lately, and my blog has suffered as a consequence. Oops. :-\

I was on the phone with one of my friends last night, and I promised I would give her an update on my blog by the end of this week. Lo and behold, clicking through my RSS feeds this afternoon, I found that I have been tagged by Kelly K. over at Diabetesaliciousness to write a six-word memoir. My life in six words?!?! This might take a while…
Here’s how it works:
1) Write your own six word memoir
2) Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links; and
5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Well, here goes. After some deliberation, my six-word memoir:

Love others, Love yourself, Love nature.

It’ll have to do for now.
As I am relatively new to the blogosphere, I really don’t have too many connections. So, I am inviting anyone who wishes to post their own six-word memoir as a comment, in addition to tagging Barbara, and a couple others: Sarah, and Jenna.
Ciao!

On March 14, 2008, JMU is celebrating its centennial anniversary! (They call it a birthday).  Anyways, the school and various organizations have planned events all week, ranging from speakers and exhibits to debates, dedications, and other various festivities.

Yesterday’s special event was a photo of JMU students and faculty on the quad, forming a ‘100’.  I went (obvi!), and I’m so glad I did.  I think it’s really cool that I got to be a part of something that is going to be commemorated forever!  You can look at the pictures here, and I’ll try to upload ones that I’ve edited to highlight my approximate location in the picture soon – I was inside the last zero (purple), on the far right border.

After the photo was taken from a little plane which flew over several times, there was, of course, a mad rush for the cake, cookies, popcorn and soda that awaited us after our strenuous endeavor. 😉

One evening about a week and a half ago, I had a low blood sugar reaction while I was studying. It wasn’t too uncomfortable; I felt it coming on, and treated it pretty quickly, so it wasn’t a big deal, but it lead to a conversation with my roommate. She asked how I knew I was getting low, or what it felt like, and I did my best to describe it to her. There’s the outward physical symptoms: sweating, shaking, and a jittery feeling. Sometimes there’s hunger, and I can get really pale if I don’t treat it soon enough. But when I do get low, I’ve noticed sometimes that there’s just a sudden, almost innate, gut feeling that I’m getting low. It’s hard to describe such an internal feeling, and maybe I am just nuts and I’m imagining it, but its hard to dismiss such an unmistakable feeling when I get it almost every time I’m low. I’m kind of wondering if anyone else gets this… I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Anyways, after I had finished describing these feelings to my roommate, she remarked that she felt that I had caught on to all this diabetes janx pretty quickly, and I have it all down pat. I had to laugh at that, because I was diagnosed just about six months ago now, and I read blogs of numerous others in the diabetes OC (online community – I just recently figured out what that stood for!) who have been managing their diabetes for years, even decades, and even they don’t have everything down to a science! Because there are so many unknown variables, and so many factors that constantly change, I think its (almost) impossible to ever have everything managed so perfectly. I remember reading a quote regarding this in someone’s blog. I can’t remember it exactly, but I really liked it, and it went something like this:

Diabetes is trying to manually simulate what normally occurs at a cellular level within the body.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t do it any kind of justice, and is not nearly as poetic or eloquent as the original. I’m hoping that I will be able to find it eventually, but don’t count on it anytime soon. :-/

It was definitely quite encouraging to hear that it seems like I am on top of managing this disease, but in reality, it is so far from the truth. Its more like I understand the general mechanics of how things are supposed to work; I’ve pretty much got the basics down – I’ve gotten pretty good at being able to estimate how many carbs are in certain foods, and by how many points one unit of insulin will lower my blood glucose, and how exercise affects my BG – by how long it will take to start lowering it and by how much. Unfortunately, even if you try to keep everything constant, it can throw you for a loop sometimes, and you’ll get a high or a low reading out of seemingly nowhere. It can definitely be a daily struggle – physically, mentally, emotionally. I’m finding it hard to believe that I was diagnosed six months ago. It seems like such a long time ago, and so much has happened since then, yet at the same time, I can remember that weekend and the one before it like it was yesterday. I feel like this entire (scholastic) year has sped by, a big, fast blur with certain events sticking out in my mind. Sometimes it all blends together, and its hard to remember the chronology of things.

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